More accurately, we lightly panfry dragons, season them, whip them into a fondue and spread them on our toast after they fall dead at the mere suggestion of the possibility of our imminent presence.

Hidari shall fall. It is written.

The Secret Plans centuries in the making have finally been revealed. Truly, the day of reckoning draws nigh, and the Gauntlet of Power has been thrown. I Fight Dragons possesses state-of-the-art 8-bit technology, granting them the speed, stamina, and power to triumph over all opponents. Your childlike delusions of grandeur amuse us greatly, and we smile at your ignorance, yet we shall destroy you all the same. Weep, ye mortal musicians of Hidari, as you behold the full splendor and glory of I Fight Dragons.

Primitive beings often hold the delusion that the written word holds a sort of power, as if merely scrawling something on a flat sheet of pulped wood will make it reality. What these young, impetuous upstarts fail to realize is that the prophecies they allude to were written by ancient powers they cannot begin to comprehend, translated through a hundredfold more languages than have ever been spoken on this Earth. As everyone surely knows, the word ‘apocalypse’ originally meant ‘revelation’.